How to Give Oral Sex to Men: Techniques and Tips

Giving Head Like You Mean It

There's oral sex, and then there's oral sex that leaves someone seeing stars. The difference isn't some rare gift—it's a combination of technique, enthusiasm, and paying attention.

Most advice on this topic is either clinical or crass. Let's try for something actually useful: practical guidance that treats both giver and receiver as real people who deserve real pleasure.

Why Enthusiasm Matters More Than Skill

Here's the truth that most technique guides miss: a partner who's genuinely excited to be going down on you is exponentially hotter than one with perfect technique who seems like they're just getting it over with.

Enthusiasm communicates desire. It says "I want to be doing this." It lets the receiver relax into receiving instead of wondering if you're bored or grossed out.

So before we talk technique, know this: if you're going to do it, do it like you're enjoying yourself. Moan. Look up at them. Take your time. Your energy matters as much as your movements.

The Anatomy You're Working With

The head of the penis is where most of the nerve endings concentrate. Especially sensitive areas include the ridge around the bottom of the head, and the frenulum—that small V-shaped area on the underside where the head meets the shaft.

The shaft itself is less sensitive but still responds to pressure and warmth. The base often gets neglected but can add a lot when included.

And there's more beyond the penis itself. The testicles are sensitive, though careful handling is crucial. The perineum—the area between the scrotum and anus—is packed with nerve endings. For some men, involving these areas takes oral sex from good to transcendent.

Starting Out

Don't skip the buildup. Kiss around the area first. The inner thighs. The crease where leg meets torso. Let your breath warm the skin without making contact yet. Anticipation is powerful.

When you do make contact, start gentle. Lick along the shaft. Kiss the head. Let the sensation register before you escalate. Rushing to full intensity misses out on the pleasure of building there.

Take him in your mouth gradually. Start with just the head, your lips wrapping around the ridge. Let your tongue explore. Add depth slowly—you set the pace, not some imagined expectation.

Core Techniques

The basic motion: your mouth moves up and down along the shaft while your lips create a seal and your tongue provides additional stimulation. But within that basic framework, there's enormous variation.

Use your hands. This is maybe the most important technical upgrade. One hand wrapped around the shaft, moving in rhythm with your mouth, extends your reach and adds pressure. It also means you don't have to take him deep if that's uncomfortable.

Twist as you go. That hand on the shaft can rotate slightly with each stroke, adding a corkscrewing sensation that intensifies pleasure.

Vary your rhythm. Steady and relentless works for some moments. Other times, changing speed—fast then slow, then fast again—keeps sensation unpredictable and interesting.

Work the frenulum. Focused tongue attention on that sensitive V-spot can produce intense reactions. Flick across it. Press into it. Make it a point of focus.

Don't forget the head. When you pull back to just the tip, use your tongue to circle the ridge, to tease the opening, to provide concentrated sensation before descending again.

Depth

Let's address the elephant in the room: deep throating. It's become so centered in cultural depictions of oral sex that people sometimes think it's required for good head. It's not.

Taking him deep can be incredibly pleasurable for both parties. But so can focused attention on just the head. So can shallow motions combined with hand work. Depth is one option among many, not the measure of skill.

If you want to try going deeper, relax your throat, breathe through your nose, and go at your own pace. Some people find it easier from certain angles. The position where you're lying on your back with your head hanging over the edge of the bed, for example, creates a straighter path.

But if it makes you gag uncomfortably, don't force it. Gagging isn't fun for most people on either end. There are plenty of ways to give amazing oral sex without ever triggering your gag reflex.

Using Everything Else

Your mouth isn't alone in this. Your hands, already mentioned, are essential. But there's more.

Cup the testicles gently. Massage them softly. Some men love this; for others it's too sensitive or just doesn't add anything. Pay attention to his response.

If you're both open to it, let a finger trail further back. The perineum responds to firm pressure. And for men who enjoy it, external or even internal prostate stimulation during oral sex can lead to explosive orgasms.

Eye contact can be incredibly hot. Looking up at them while your mouth is full of them creates connection and shows that you're present, enjoying yourself, tuned into them.

When He's Getting Close

As he approaches orgasm, consistency becomes important. Don't suddenly change what you're doing right when it's working.

If you're comfortable with him finishing in your mouth, keep going steadily until he comes. You can swallow, spit, or let him finish elsewhere—all are fine options, and you should do whatever you're comfortable with.

If you'd prefer he finish somewhere else, communicate that beforehand or as he gets close. "I want you to come on my..." gives him direction while maintaining the heat.

After he finishes, slow down but don't abruptly stop. The head often becomes very sensitive immediately after orgasm, so ease off the direct stimulation, but maintain some contact and connection as he comes down.

Your Comfort Matters

You should enjoy this too, or at least not find it unpleasant. If your jaw aches, switch to using more hand and less mouth for a while. If your neck hurts, change position. If the taste is off-putting, try flavored lubricant or incorporate more hand work.

Don't do things that hurt you or make you uncomfortable. Oral sex given from a place of obligation or endurance isn't good for anyone. Find the approach that works for both of you.

And remember: you're always allowed to stop. If something isn't working, if you're not in the mood, if anything feels wrong—you can stop. Communication and consent don't disappear just because you've started.