Kegel Exercises: The Complete Guide for Everyone

The Muscles You Didn't Know You Needed to Train

Somewhere between your hips, hidden from view but critically important, lies a hammock of muscles most people completely ignore. Your pelvic floor. And whether you want stronger orgasms, better bladder control, improved erections, or more sexual stamina, these muscles are the key.

Kegels aren't just for women after childbirth. They're for everyone who wants better sex.

What Your Pelvic Floor Actually Does

Think of your pelvic floor as the foundation of your core. It supports your bladder, bowels, and reproductive organs. It contracts during orgasm. It's involved in erection quality for men and vaginal tone for women. It even affects your posture and core stability.

When it's weak, things suffer. Bladder leaks when you laugh or sneeze. Reduced sensation during sex. Difficulty controlling ejaculation. Weaker orgasms. A sense that things down there just aren't working as well as they used to.

When it's strong, everything improves.

Finding the Right Muscles

This is where most people go wrong. They think they're doing Kegels, but they're squeezing their abs, their glutes, or holding their breath instead.

The simplest way to find your pelvic floor muscles: next time you're urinating, try to stop the flow midstream. The muscles you use to do that? Those are the ones. Note: don't actually do Kegels while urinating regularly—this can cause issues. It's just for identification.

Another way to find them: imagine you're trying to stop yourself from passing gas in public. That squeeze and lift you feel? That's your pelvic floor.

For men, it can also help to stand in front of a mirror and try to lift your penis without using your hands. The muscles that create that movement are the ones you're targeting.

The Basic Kegel

Once you've identified the muscles, the exercise itself is simple:

Contract your pelvic floor muscles. Imagine you're lifting them up and in. Hold the contraction for three to five seconds. You should feel a squeeze and lift, not a push down.

Release fully. Let the muscles relax completely. This relaxation phase is just as important as the contraction. Hold the release for three to five seconds.

Repeat ten times. That's one set. Do three sets per day.

Breathe normally throughout. If you're holding your breath, you're doing it wrong. And make sure your abs, glutes, and thighs stay relaxed. Isolation is key.

Progressing Your Practice

As your muscles get stronger, increase the challenge.

Hold contractions longer. Work up to ten-second holds with ten-second rests.

Add quick flutters. Contract and release as rapidly as you can, ten to twenty times in a row. This builds a different kind of control.

Practice in different positions. Standing, sitting, lying down. The muscles should work the same way regardless of position, but practicing variety ensures functional strength.

Add Kegels to other activities. Contract during other exercises, during a commute, at your desk. The muscles respond to frequent training.

Reverse Kegels (The Overlooked Half)

Most Kegel guidance focuses entirely on contracting. But the ability to fully relax your pelvic floor is equally important, especially for men dealing with premature ejaculation or anyone experiencing pelvic tension.

A reverse Kegel is the opposite of a regular Kegel. Instead of squeezing up and in, you're gently pushing down and out—like you're trying to urinate faster or release a bowel movement.

It should feel like a gentle bearing down, not a forceful push. The goal is to train the relaxation response, which counterbalances the contraction response.

For men, reverse Kegels during high arousal can delay ejaculation by releasing the tension that triggers orgasm.

Practice reverse Kegels in sets just like regular Kegels. Ideally, train both in your routine.

When to Do Them

The beauty of Kegels is that no one knows you're doing them. You can practice anywhere.

Tie them to a daily habit for consistency. Every time you're at a red light. Every time you sit down at your desk. Every time you brush your teeth. Anchoring to an existing habit makes it automatic.

Many people do them before and during sex. Contracting during arousal can enhance sensation. For men, alternating between Kegels and reverse Kegels during intercourse helps with ejaculatory control.

What to Expect

You probably won't notice changes immediately. Like any muscle training, pelvic floor strengthening takes time.

Most people start noticing improvements in four to six weeks with consistent practice. Better bladder control often comes first. Sexual benefits typically take a bit longer.

Stick with it. The muscles will respond. And once they're strong, maintaining them requires less effort than building them did.

When to Get Help

If you can't seem to find the right muscles, or if Kegels cause pain, see a pelvic floor physical therapist. These specialists can assess your specific situation, provide hands-on guidance, and address any underlying issues.

Pelvic floor dysfunction is more common than people realize, and trying to Kegel your way through it without professional guidance can sometimes make things worse.

There's no shame in getting expert help. Your pelvic floor is worth it.