One-Night Stands: How to Have Great Casual Sex

The Single Encounter

There's nothing inherently wrong with sex that happens once, with someone you won't see again. When two adults want the same thing, communicate clearly, and treat each other with basic decency, a one-night stand can be a good experience for everyone.

The difference between a one-night stand you regret and one you remember fondly usually comes down to a few factors: safety, communication, and how you treat each other.

Before You Go There

Know what you want: Be honest with yourself about your expectations. If you're hoping this turns into something more, you're not really looking for a one-night stand—and that misalignment will color the experience.

Basic safety: Tell a friend where you're going and with whom. Share your location if you can. Keep your phone charged. Have your own transportation, or at least money for a ride home. This isn't paranoia; it's just smart.

Sober enough to consent: You can have a drink to loosen up, but being coherent enough to make clear decisions matters. For both of you. If either person is too intoxicated to clearly communicate consent, it shouldn't happen.

The Communication That Makes It Good

Casual doesn't mean careless. A bit of actual conversation before diving in makes everything better.

Ask about protection. What are you both comfortable with? Is there anything off the table? These questions feel awkward but they're way less awkward than realizing mid-encounter that you have very different expectations.

You don't need deep getting-to-know-you conversation, but enough to know you're both on the same page helps ensure you're both going to enjoy this.

In the Moment

Protection is non-negotiable: Condoms, every time. You don't know this person's history and they don't know yours. Anyone who pressures you to skip protection doesn't care about your wellbeing—not a good sign.

Pay attention: The fact that this is casual doesn't mean you stop caring about your partner's experience. Read their body language. Check in verbally. "Do you like this?" isn't less relevant because you're not dating.

Ask what they want: Different people like different things. A quick "what do you like?" or "tell me what feels good" gives you information that makes you a better lover—for them, and in general.

Be present: If you're in your head, judging yourself or worrying about your performance, neither of you will have a good time. You've decided to do this; commit to it.

After: Don't Be a Jerk

The post-sex protocol for one-night stands trips people up.

If you're at their place: You don't have to rush out immediately, but you also don't have to linger until morning unless that's clearly welcome. Read the situation. A bit of afterglow time is usually fine; overstaying is awkward.

If they're at your place: Be polite about it. You don't need to make breakfast, but kicking someone out immediately after is cold. Offer them water. Let them use the bathroom. If you want them to leave, you can say so kindly—"I've got an early morning, but this was fun."

A genuine "I had a good time" goes a long way. You don't have to promise to call. You don't have to pretend this is the start of something. But basic acknowledgment that you just shared something together is just human decency.

The Morning After (Your Own Morning After)

Check in with yourself. How do you feel about what happened? No need to manufacture feelings you don't have, positive or negative. Just notice.

If you feel good—great. File it as a positive experience.

If you feel off—examine that without judgment. Were you really wanting something casual, or were you hoping for more? Did the experience reveal something about what you actually want? This is useful information.

Repeat Encounters

Sometimes a one-night stand turns into two or three. At that point, you're approaching friends-with-benefits territory, which requires more explicit conversation about what this is. Don't let unclear expectations build up across multiple encounters. That's when people get hurt.